As a single parent, raising six children has been both a challenge and a joy. Now that four of my kids are at university and working, I’m starting to feel the changes that come with this new stage of life. Three of them no longer live at home, and while I miss having them around every day, I’m proud of how they’re growing into their own lives. Still, I can’t help but think about the future, when my nest will be completely empty. This fills me with a mix of pride, joy, dread, and uncertainty.
The Reality of Growing Up
When your kids grow up and start to lead their own lives, it can feel like everything is shifting. Suddenly, the house is quieter, and their rooms might sit empty for weeks at a time. Even though we talk every day, their lives are full of university, jobs, friends, and their own interests. They have their own schedules, and I have to respect that. While I’m so proud of their independence, it’s still hard to let go.
In the past, I could always be the one to guide them directly. Now, my role has shifted from a parent who gives instructions to a guide who offers advice when asked. This new phase of parenting requires patience and understanding. It’s important to respect their boundaries and honor the new lives they’re building, even if I wish I could see them more often.
Missing the Little Things
As a single parent, I’ve always had a close bond with my kids. We’ve been through everything together—the good times and the tough ones. Now, with them away at school or work, I miss the everyday moments: cooking dinner together, laughing in the living room, and just having them around to talk to whenever I wanted. Sure, we still chat on the phone or video call, but it’s different. I can’t just pop into their room to say hi or hear about their day at the dinner table.
There’s a loneliness that comes with this stage, and I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel that way. It’s natural to miss your children when they’re not around as much, especially when they’ve been the center of your world for so long. But I also know that this is part of the parenting journey. They’re growing, and I have to grow with them.
The Mixed Emotions of an Empty Nest
Looking ahead, I know that in a few years, all six of my kids will be out of the house. The thought of being an empty nester brings up so many different feelings. On one hand, I’m filled with pride. Seeing them work hard, chase their dreams, and make their own way in the world is what I always wanted for them. I’ve done my job as a parent, and now they’re ready to take on the world.
But there’s also a sense of dread. What will it be like when the house is completely empty? When there are no more school events to attend, no one coming home for dinner, and no kids rushing in and out with their friends? The quiet can be peaceful, but it can also feel overwhelming. I’ve spent so many years focusing on raising my kids, and soon, my day-to-day life will look very different.
Along with pride and dread, there’s joy too. I’m excited to see where their journeys take them. Watching them grow into independent, capable adults brings so much happiness. And as they continue to carve out their own paths, I’ll have more time to focus on myself—on my own goals, dreams, and interests that might have taken a backseat while I was in full-time mom mode.
Facing the Uncertainty
Of course, there’s also some uncertainty about what comes next. What will my role be in their lives once they’re all out of the house? How will I fill my days without the hustle and bustle of having six kids at home? These are questions I’m still figuring out the answers to, but I know that this next phase is an opportunity for growth.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that even though they’re adults now, my kids still need me—but in a different way. They may not need me to solve their problems or tell them what to do, but they need my support, my love, and my trust. As long as I’m there for them emotionally, we’ll continue to have a strong bond, no matter where life takes them.
How to Embrace the Change
Here are some things I’ve been doing to help me embrace this new chapter of life:
- Staying connected: Even though my kids are busy, we make time to talk every day. Whether it’s a quick text, a video call, or a longer conversation, staying connected helps ease the feeling of missing them.
- Respecting their space: I remind myself that they have their own lives now. I try to respect their schedules and not overwhelm them with constant calls or messages, while still being there when they need me.
- Focusing on myself: This is the perfect time to rediscover my own interests. I’m exploring new hobbies, setting personal goals, and spending time with friends. It’s important to remember that my life doesn’t stop just because the kids aren’t at home.
- Looking forward: Instead of only focusing on what I’ll miss, I’m also looking forward to what’s to come. This is a time for me to enjoy new experiences, travel, and focus on my own happiness.
- Embracing the pride: Every time I start to feel sad about the empty nest, I remind myself how proud I am of my kids. They’re doing amazing things, and I played a part in helping them get there.
Conclusion
Becoming an empty nester as a single parent is a mix of emotions. It’s natural to feel pride, joy, dread, and uncertainty all at once. But it’s also a time for growth, both for our kids and for us. I’ve learned that while I may miss having them around every day, this next phase is just as important as the ones that came before. It’s a chance to celebrate their achievements, embrace new challenges, and rediscover parts of myself that have been waiting for this moment.
As I prepare for the future, I know that no matter where my kids are or what they’re doing, our bond will always be strong. And that’s something I can carry with me, even when the nest is empty.
